Putting You Back Together - Young Avengers fanfic

Title: Putting You Back Together
Characters: Billy, Teddy
Time-Frame: Right at the end of Family Matters.
Summary: When the battle's over and the adrenaline rush dies down, Teddy has to come to terms with the truth about himself. Billy'd be damned if he let him go through that alone.
Word Count: 1899

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At the end of every war, there's an aftermath. Sometimes you see it on the news, sometimes you hear about it from the survivors. Sometimes you never hear about it at all.
But other times? Those times you were there, lived through it all, and had to find a way to put it all back together again - most likely on your own.

It wasn't his own home Teddy came back to once both the Skrull and Kree armies were gone. He had nothing - no one - to come back to, after all. With Billy's own house destroyed, there weren't too many places they had left to go to, and so the night found the both of them taking refuge in the old Bishop publishing house they used as their Lair. It was for the best, he shouldn't be alone, some of their friends said, and seemed to even genuinely believe that.

Billy knew better. It was hard to say Billy knew what Teddy did need, but he knew it wasn't being fawned upon, and it certainly wasn't being under constant surveillance, as well-intended as their friends were. Billy was thus left rather helpless, and all around not surprised at what came next.
Loss; loneliness; confusion; pain. Even tears weren't a sufficient outlet for it all, and so it was no wonder that those raging emotions eventually amalgamated, intensifying and mutating until there was little left but frustration, bitterness and rage.
It was a matter of time before that first piece of furniture hit the wall and shattered to pieces. Billy heard noises coming from downstairs, but no one came, and he was grateful for that - it would've only made matters worse. Relieved he didn't need to worry about that, Billy turned to look back at Teddy. His boyfriend stood there, both hands buried in his blond hair. His expression seemed sealed, at first, but Billy knew to look for that way in which Teddy's jaws clenched, the way his eyes were a bit wider than usual - an indication he was on edge, and the way he tugged a bit too harshly on his hair. Teddy was most certainly not ok, and though Billy knew not how to help him, he knew this - this distance between them - wasn't helping, either.

"Teddy-"

It was terrible; the mere sound of Billy's voice made Teddy hunch his shoulders and flinch. For a moment Teddy glanced at him, and Billy could swear there was fear in his eyes. That moment passed quickly, and then Billy had Teddy's back turned to him.
Now, Billy admitted to being an idiot sometimes, but leaving Teddy all on his own to wallow right then was something even he wouldn't dare do.

"Teddy, please look at me."

He tried, Billy had to give him that much credit, but Teddy eventually shook his head and kept looking away. Billy nodded mostly to himself and ran his hand down his face in an attempt to not give in to his own raging emotions.

"Ok, then why don't you at least talk to me? That also works."

"I've got nothing to say."

Other than that statement, Billy thought, but kept his sarcasm to himself. Still, it was a start, and he treated the spark of hope that lit inside him with caution.

"You had a lot to say to the table."
Alright, maybe not keep all the sarcasm to himself.
"And the chair bef-"

"What do you want me to say, Billy?" Teddy sighed as he half turned towards Billy, arms limp at his sides. He looked so tired and sad, his entire demeanor making the teen look fragile and small. Billy could feel his heart break in his chest, but still he refrained from doing what he wanted most - which was to throw himself at Teddy and hold him close.
It didn't seem to help so far.

"Whatever you want to tell me. I'll listen." Billy offered gently and took half a step towards Teddy, as though to convey his intentions with his whole body. It seemed to work, because Teddy finally nodded.
To say Billy was unprepared for what came next would be an understatement, and a brutal one at that.

"Mom... made my favorite for dinner. You're invited." Teddy's voice was unsteady, and he almost choked on the words.
"I want to say that, Billy."

Billy nodded slowly, but managed only to open his mouth before Teddy continued.

"I want to say that my whole life hasn't been a lie." Teddy paused momentarily, only to bite his lower lip. "That's what I want to say, but I can't."

Teddy gritted his teeth; Billy chewed on the inside of his cheek in an attempt to not just blurt anything that came to mind. Every muscle in his body ached as he held himself back from hugging Teddy tightly and promising him it'll all be alright - that he'd make it alright.
He figured Teddy's had enough empty promises and lies for - well, for a lifetime or two.

"Teddy-"

"That's not even my name!" Teddy exclaimed with something not unlike despair, and it must've been contagious, because Billy felt it too.
"Who am I, Billy? What am I?!" He pleaded. They knew, alright, but that was the problem, wasn't it? What even started all of this.

"Ted-" Billy tried again, knowing only that he couldn't let Teddy get any worse than he already was. So busy he was, reminding himself of that decision, that he missed completely the moment in which Teddy shifted. When next he looked at him, Teddy was a bit slimmer, and shorter, and a shade of green Billy wasn't used to see him wear, nor was he used to those thin depressions that ran down his chin.

"Is this me?" He asked in a voice that was similar to his usual one, but wasn't quite there.

Before Billy could respond or even fully take in this development, Teddy had shifted again, this time into a form that more resembled his usual one, but had a pale blue skin and seemed foreign still.

"Or this?" He asked and looked down at his hands before feeling his cheeks. He then chuckled, the sound leaving him tainted with bitterness, and sounding almost distorted.

"No, I'm both, so that makes me... neither, right?"

The shape he took on next wasn't anything Billy was familiar with. It was as though Teddy shifted back to a Skrull but stopped mid-way, the end result resembling both races and yet standing out at the same time.

"More... like this?"

It was beautiful, in its own way, Billy thought, exotic, even, but for the life of him he couldn't watch it anymore; he looked away.

"...yeah, must be pretty gruesome, huh..." Teddy muttered, his eyes fixated on Billy's face.
So; he finally managed to push even him away, huh. To... lose...

"Look at me." Teddy muttered then, pleaded - begged.
"...look at me, Billy!"

Teddy reached out and took hold of one of Billy's wrists. He failed to hold his other hand, however, because Billy already moved it, and held onto Teddy's chin in a way that forced them to lock eyes.

"I am!" Billy replied with just as much urgency and despair. He didn't want to talk to Teddy like this, didn't want to see the scared look on his face, but Billy was already past his wits' end. If being gentle failed, maybe it was time he stopped, and was a bit more honest with the both of them.
"I am looking, Teddy! I've been looking right at you since the day we met!"

A silence fell, one awkwardly swinging between pregnant and suffocating.

"So help me, I've barely looked at anyone else." Billy added, voice noticeably softer.
"Now you look at me." He demanded when Teddy glanced away. The change in attitude was enough to make Teddy loosen his hold, and Billy used both his hands and cupped Teddy's cheeks.
"Stop hiding behind all those questions that don't matter."

"Don-" Teddy tried to interject; Billy simply pressed his thumbs over his lips.

"They don't. Right here, right now, they don't mean a thing, Teddy, and no, I won't stop calling you that until you specifically tell me to. Not a second sooner. Until then, you're still Teddy Altman. You're still one of the best people I've ever met - human or otherwise. You're still my boyfriend, and you're still-"

A lump formed in his throat, forcing him to stop. Billy's heart was pounding in his ears, and the realization of what he was about to say overwhelmed him. It was all gone the next moment, though, when Billy looked at Teddy again and took in the miserable, pathetic look on his distorted face.
Right, there wasn't time to stall; this had to be said, he berated himself and swallowed heavily.

"You're still the man I fell in love with."

Every last bit of bravery and even bravado left him, leaving Billy deflated. He ran his thumbs under Teddy's eyes and felt his throat dry. He wanted to cry, but knew he wasn't allowed to do that yet - not until Teddy did first. So instead, Billy licked his lips and then pursed them before he let out a small, uncertain snicker.

"I don't care what you are, Teddy, or what you want to go by. I just-"

He sucked in a shaky breath, just barely managing to finish his words before his voice finally cracked.

"I just don't want to lose you. I can't lose you."

Billy took another deep breath before he finally realized it happened. There was moistness trailing over his fingers, originating from the corners of Teddy's eyes. Finally, a part of Billy thought and he closed his eyes, just before Teddy rested his hands over Billy's own. It made the tiniest of smiles rise to Billy's lips, right before the first sniffle came, followed by a muffled hiccup. It was enough to make his tension slowly ebb away, realizing that it finally came to that.
Billy pulled Teddy closer and gently pressed his lips to the other's forehead. That's when the change began, but Billy didn't stop, instead moving to kiss Teddy's right eye, and then his left, and then his nose before he leaned back and finally got to see the Teddy he knew again. Billy's smile widened as a result, and before Teddy could even ask for it, Billy pulled him in for a hug.
Teddy was trembling, and unsteady, and rested most of his weight on Billy, and Billy let him. Billy also knew the strength of Teddy's hold was proof of how much Teddy needed him right then, so all he did was cast a tiny spell that let him live through even the super-powered embrace.

"I-"
He heard Teddy try to speak, his voice weak and hesitant. Billy bade his time, not pushing, not probing, simply waiting, until -

"Me... me too." Teddy finally said, and Billy's eyes widened slightly.
"All of it, I- me too."

There was honesty, and need, and so much pain, and a spark of hope, all in just those two words, and Billy thought he would collapse from their sheer weight alone.
Instead, he kept standing, supporting Teddy as they both held onto each other and cried on each other's shoulders.